The Day I Died

It was one of the winter months, January of 2010, I think, when I woke one morning to a cold house. We keep the heat at 68 degrees F at night – just enough to keep the chill away. But that morning, the house was cold. I felt the vents, the unit was on, but cold air was blowing out. We assumed the pilot light had simply gone out over night, and it would be an easy fix. Except neither I nor my husband knew where the pilot light was in our attic furnace.

I called one of our close friends who was familiar with furnaces and knew exactly what to do. We lowered the attic door and ladder for him, and he ascended into the cold attic and approached the furnace. After a few quiet moments, he came back down, explaining that he was unable to light the pilot. “By the way,” he asked, “who turned off your gas valve?” My husband and I looked at each other with wide eyes. Neither of us had been up there, and neither of us knew where the gas valve was even located. Michael explained that the gas had been turned off, and it would have taken quite a bit of effort to turn that valve. It would not have been able to move on its own. Someone would have had to physically turn it. We were both a little unnerved. We thanked Michael and he left, still shaking his head in disbelief.

From there we ended up calling out a furnace repair person. He arrived the next day and made his way to the attic. After a good while, he came down with a mutilated piece of furnace equipment – the “furnace grate,” he said. Apparently this piece is where the gas flows through, where the flames sit, and what is responsible for heating our home. The look on his face was pure bewilderment. He showed us the solid steel grate, which had a gaping hole blown in the center, with metal shards sticking straight up instead of lying neatly in a deliberate and “normal” pattern. He said to my husband with quiet resolve, “Sir, I can’t explain how this happened or why, at the very least, your young children and small animals are still alive.” It looked like there had been an explosion, but we heard nothing all night. The dogs didn’t even stir. Sometime during the middle of the night while everyone was deep asleep, there was an explosion in our attic strong enough to bend solid steel into shards of scrap metal. The gas had to have been on to ignite the explosion.

My life has experienced tremendous growth and understanding of some universal truths, such as the possibility that we exist in multiple dimensions, each just a degree different from any other in existence. With this in mind, I had an epiphany! If this theory is correct, I believe my home did explode and my entire family and pets did expire that night, but our essence, our “state of existence”, woke up in another dimension and carried on with our lives as usual. The only sequence that was out of place was that steel grate. Had we not found evidence of an explosion, I may have never awakened to the idea that other dimensions exist and that we are capable of either jumping between them, creating new ones with each decision we make, or get thrown into one to continue our journey. What are your thoughts? I’d love to know.

I may never know the answer to these questions, but I am extremely thankful I have been able to carry on with my life. I have survived to watch my children grow up, witness my grandchildren thriving, and along the way I have been blessed to offer peace and healing to countless people. But I still have trouble believing that I was spared simply because of who I am. After all, I’m just a gal living my life and helping people along the way, as opportunities arise. I’m just me. And I know one day Mr. Death and I shall meet for a final time. I only hope I’m allowed to live out my life to the fullest before we meet again.

This happened to me on the day I turned 30 years old, long before I learned about walk-ins. I was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship, with little-to-no self-worth, and was unable to release myself from this nightmare. I had reached the point where I felt the only way to end the pain was to step out of this life. I felt that, even if I were to pay consequences on the other side (if there is such a thing as a consequence), it surely had to be better than what I was enduring here.

I had a young daughter at the time, but I reasoned that she had plenty of loving family members who would assume her care, (something I would never have fathomed under normal circumstances). When you’re in a deep, dark place, you can reason yourself into anything, even at the risk of causing devastating consequences to those left behind. Thankfully, my decision to leave would take a life-altering turn.  

On that day, at my lowest point, I remember having an excruciating migraine. This could have contributed to my decision to leave, however, something else happened. The pain in my head was so bad that I locked myself in my bathroom, turned off the light and laid down on the cold floor. It was the only place I felt I could get relief from the assaults on my senses. I fell into a deep sleep. When I awakened, my headache was gone and I felt a bit better, a little shaky, but definitely in a better place, mentally. I got up and resumed whatever it was I was supposed to be doing that day. 

About a month later, we (my ex and I) had another huge blow-up over his infidelity. I found myself pinned on the bed, with him holding my arms down over the top of my head with one hand, and slapping me in the face with the other. Something deep and ancient seemed to awaken inside me. “Release the Kraken!” I uncharacteristically felt strength welling up from within and managed to work one hand loose. In one glorious moment, my clenched fist made a perfect arc from above my head to the center of his face. I heard a loud pop and he immediately let go of my arm and grabbed his bleeding nose.

I never felt more alive or more determined to fix this life than I did in that moment. (I’ve always been curious how he explained his two black eyes to his co-workers the next day!) Within a week I was out of that place, and I filed for divorce not long after.  

Needless to say, my lifelong interest in the paranormal and the gifts I was born with continued to evolve to where I am today. I truly believe I entered life during that time to help usher in a New Age and be a source of comfort and encouragement for those who have joined this exciting era with me.  There isn’t a lot of information out there about the purpose for walks ins, but I can share my own feelings that we are here to be a support system and guides for the coming change of ages.  I only know this because of dreams I, (prior personality), had when I was nine or ten years old.

In one of these dreams, I was hiding out in an old cafe or diner, in a small city that had recently been decimated by war. I remember knowing I would be one of those who would emerge from the rubble to recover the remnants of people who survived, and help the rebuilding process or even, as I am beginning to believe, prevent it from happening in the first place. But, if I was to be a walk-in, this didn’t make much sense, unless my life was planned out for the first personality to gather those experiences from age birth to 30, and myself, the current personality, would step in and continue the journey of helping people find their way in this world until the change of ages took place, (I believe we have entered this new age). 

There is so much more I could share, but in order to understand walk-ins and learn if you could be one, please consider reading Ruth Montgomery’s book, “Strangers Among Us,”. Who knows? You, too, could be one of the thousands of walk-ins who volunteered to make this world a better place!

I have a long and rich history in “automatic writing,” which is basically channeling the information from other worlds or dimensions, etc. by using a keyboard. I used to use a pen and paper, but trying to decipher the chicken scratch that came through was a chore in and of itself, and it was really time-intensive. I switched to using a keyboard because I could capture the download of information much more quickly and accurately than handwriting. It’s pretty easy to read, once all the typos are fixed. I do my best to get all the information, but with my eyes closed it’s sometimes hit and miss with the keys. It’s still quicker and easier than writing it all by hand. All of the channeled messages in this blog will be recorded in this way.

My most recent conversation with the Other Side began with them telling me several times over several sessions to “OPEN MIND”. The message came via DOWSING, and I have to admit I was kind of floored. With all my woowooness, (talking to dead people, manifesting things into my reality, clearing energy, etc.), I considered myself to be pretty open. Apparently I was wrong. After a conversation with my Guides, I came to understand that all these things I was doing for people was nothing more than a distraction from my real purpose. According to them, I was “tinkering around.” So, I asked them to show me how to open my mind, to direct me to teachers and mentors, because I was doing all I knew how to do.

And then they began to answer.

The first thoughts and messages that trickled in were for me to Fall Deep into myself – try to access my original spark. They kept saying to “Go Deep.” This was the moment I saw/felt that we always were and we always will be. We are not these corporeal bodies, but eternal sparks of the One Source on a journey from our separation and eventual reunification with Source and its pure, perfect bliss.

As I was in communication with these beings I began seeing the slightest of twinkling stars – tiny lights swirling in my head. I tried not to interpret, as I end up getting distracted, so I just went with it and played more of an observer role. At this point I was reminded about my younger days when I did automatic writing. So, I opened my keyboard and a Word document, and waited for the information to flow. Here’s how it went down.

I asked: Who Am I Really? And from apparently me, these words flowed from my fingertips and onto the document. I chose to share this message with you, because I believe all of us struggle on some level with manifesting who we are or what we really want to do in this life. I hope this helps you understand your true self and how to create your desired life.

Initially, you are a particle of the Energy in all existence, (I call it Source). There is no beginning and there will be no end. You are part of the I Am, the Creation, the one and only Pure Energy of Grace.

The Beginning of life.

The Beginning of all that is.

“But then, aren’t we all that same energy?” I asked.

“Yes. Tap into your origin, your beginning. Remember how it felt to be a creator, the creative process. Remember how it feels to breathe into existence the life you want. There is no trying. There is only creating. Allow, don’t force. Invite, don’t  try. Accept, don’t doubt. Let the joy of your soul create your deepest desires. So, you want to be more active with your mind business, (assuming they mean my psychic business). See for yourself that this is who you are. You have been able to tap into the force that is you, the force that is creation.

There is nothing you cannot create for yourself. But, there is much doubt that must be released.  You don’t even need to try to release the doubt. Just blow it into the energy that surrounds you to be turned into creative works. That’s all there is to it. There truly is no “try”.

You saw how well you manifested your new kitchen – you created it in your mind, you felt the joy, experienced the excitement of this kitchen as your reality – do the same with everything else you want in your experience. Your joy in imagining the end result is the key to the creation process.

And then they switched gears on me and began explaining our Earthly incarnation in these meat suits.

This experience won’t last- this playground. Make of it what you will while you are here.  Do you want to travel? Then breathe traveling into your existence. Money? Breathe it into your experiences. There is nothing you cannot create by simply relaxing and allowing the creative energy to flow forth from your breath.

We can’t say we made a mistake with creating vehicles for the souls, (bodies). This experience, this “incarnation” is a carnival ride of experiences. It is how the soul plays, experiences recreation, explores physical senses and emotions. Some of us enjoy a scarier ride than others, and some prefer to simply take in the beauty this plane has to offer. You chose to experience the thrill of creativity on a physical level, and tapped into your memories as a creator to access the energy that is you, in order to help other people. It’s a great experience, isn’t it?

Trust more in yourself that you are … you ARE. Forget you have a vehicle, (body), and remember that you create by breathing. Energy in/energy out. Not air…Energy.  You are all you need to be. 

UPDATE: Since this post was written, I realized I was still missing the mark on “Delving Deep.” Memories of past events needed to be unlocked. Please see my “Three Dreams” post for more information.